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Freethinker slogans

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Here's a nifty list of funny bumper stickers, aphorisms or atheist slogans about religion

  • No Jesus? Know Peace. Know Jesus? No Peace.
  • Darwin loves you!
  • Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
  • Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
  • Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
  • Don’t pray in my school, and I won’t think in your church.
  • Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
  • Thank God I'm an Atheist.
  • Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.

  • There's A REASON Why Atheists Don't Fly Planes Into Buildings
  • If you think god is your co-pilot, try letting him land the plane.
  • "Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day."­ God.
  • If Jesus is inside me, I hope he likes fajitas ’cause that’s what he’s getting!
  • Gods Don't Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
  • If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
  • He's Dead. It's Been 2,000 years. He's Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
  • All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry - Edgar Allan Poe.
  • Viva La Evolución!
  • Praying is begging
  • Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
  • I Wouldn't Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
  • Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
  • Cheeses Dried Foyer Shins. Praise the Lard.
  • The difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate controlled.
  • People Who Don't Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn't Have Such Funny Beliefs
  • Jesus is Coming? Don't Swallow That.
  • Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
  • GOD - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
  • Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
  • God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
  • God Doesn't Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
  • When the Rapture Comes, We'll Get Our Country Back!
  • Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic? A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
  • You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing
  • And God said unto His followers, ‘Get on your knees and prey.’
  • Creationism: Holy Shit!
  • I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.

  • How many prophets does does it take to make a profit?
  • Science: It Works, Bitches.
  • "Intelligent Design" Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
  • I Found God Between The Sheets
  • I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
  • My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
  • Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
  • If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
  • Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
  • ALL Americans Are African Americans
  • I Forget - Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?



  • I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
  • The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
  • If we were made in his image, then why aren't humans invisible too?
  • JESUS SAVES....You From Thinking For Yourself
  • How Can You Disbelieve Evolution If You Can't Even Define It?
  • Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made? A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
  • Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
  • I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
  • WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
  • WWJD = Who Would Jesus Date?
  • WWJD = What Would Jesus Drive?
  • WWJD = What Would Jesus Drink?
  • Religion requires faith, science requires thinking.
  • "Lighthouses are more useful than churches." Ben Franklin
  • "The nearest I can make of it, Love your enemies means hate your friends." Ben Franklin
  • "The way to see by Faith, is to shut the eye of Reason." Ben Franklin
  • "If man is this evil with religion, then what would he be like without?" Ben Franklin
  • Religion: the original pyramid scheme.
  • The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
  • Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
  • Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
  • God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
  • When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out. Frank Sinatra.
  • No Gods. No Mullets.
  • When you kill one man you’re a murderer, a bunch you’re a psycho, thousand and you’re a hero, millions you’re a conqueror and if you kill them all… you are God!
  • Transubstantiation: Just say no to cannibalism.
  • Anything God can’t do we can do better.
  • Atheist: a man who sells his soul to get money to give to the needy; theist; one who takes from the needy to protect his soul.
  • Jesus may love you but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
  • Evangelical Agnostic: God? I don’t know and neither do you. God? I don’t care and neither should you.
  • The clergy build castles in the sky; the religious live in them and the rest of us have to pay their rent.
  • As an atheist, I condemn your religion, not you; now, do you condemn me?
  • As an atheist, I am more compassionate than your God.
  • Relax. We did not suffer before our births and we can't suffer when we're gone.
  • I wouldn't send God to hell, if i could, but I would commit Him.
  • If evil exists there is nothing that can be done about it, but if suffering is only caused by ignorance, then there is true hope.
  • We think, therefore there is hope.
  • Good does not require religion, but it is threatened by it.
  • All religious extremism begins as religious moderation.
  • Most religions preach tolerance until one of them gets the upper hand.
  • A fool is guided by religion; the wise question it, and politicians abuse it.
  • Faith is the refusal to see reality. Sanity is the insistence on reality.
  • Believers made God in their image: violent and irrational.
  • Jesus, save me from your followers.
  • God was more than capable of judging people without help before you were born
  • God hates you, and that's why he's letting you die.
  • If people send each other to heaven/hell it is murder, but it is natural if God does it.
  • I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Gandhi
  • Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today?
  • Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
  • Christianity is to free inquiry what the Mafia is to free enterprise. -- George H. Smith
  • A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.
  • The bible is an elaborate chain-letter and you fell for it!
  • I went to the Creation Museum and all I got was stupider

Science flys you into outer space. Religion flys you into office space.

Don't want to go to hell? Become an atheist.


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