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From FreeThoughtPedia

• Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? A: He kept getting nailed to the boards.

• Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

• Jesus saves! … but Gretsky scores on the rebound.

• Jesus walks into a motel and throws three nails on the counter and says to the manager "Can you put me up for the night?"

• Why do girls love Jesus? He's hung like THIS (stretch out arms)

• Q: What's this (with arms spread)? A: A terrible way to spend Easter.

• Why do girls love Jesus? They know he'll come again.

• Why do girls love Jesus? He's always got wood.

• Young Jesus walks into the house and forgets to shut the door. Annoyed that this has happened yet again, his father yells, "Shut the damn door; what, were you born in a barn?"

• Moses and Jesus are golfing and arrive at a water hazard. Jesus pulls out a 9-iron. Moses says, 'hey, you really should be using a driver for this'. 'No way', says Jesus. 'I saw Tiger Woods play this hole last week. He sunk it with a 9 iron. If Tiger can do it, I can do it'. Jesus tees up, swings… hits the ball which sails into the water. Moses says, 'I'll go get it…'. He walks down to the water, parts it, grabs Jesus' ball, walks back up and hands it to him. Jesus tees up again with his 9 iron. 'Jesus,' says Moses, 'don't you want to try the driver'?. 'No' says Jesus, 'Tiger Woods did this with his 9, so I can do it'. He hits the ball, which again sails into the water. 'I'll get it', says Jesus. He walks down the hill, and walks across the water, reaching in to his shoulder to fish around for his ball. The foursome behind Moses and Jesus has caught up and are standing there, stunned. Pointing at Jesus on top of the water, one of them says 'Who the hell does that guy think he is, Jesus?' 'No', says Moses. 'He thinks he's Tiger Woods'.

• Why are there no jokes about Jonestown? Because the punch line is too long.